Girls are taken out of class everyday for wearing clothes the school system deems “too distracting” for male students.  However, what people don’t see is the damage this lesson has on young women and society as a whole.

School is one of the most important times in a young persons life. It’s a time when young adults learn about the world around them and create their own opinions surrounding said world. It teaches young people that in the society we live in, hard work always pays off and that education is a necessary stepping stone to be successful in the adult world.

What most people don’t think of though, is the underlying lesson schools are also teaching: girl’s bodies are inherently sexual and harassment will forever be inevitable. 

Society has been convinced that dress codes are to teach students about professionalism but since when did showing your collarbones mean you were unprofessional? This is sadly the world we live in, a world where a young girl’s body is seen as inherently sexual and something to be hidden from the male gaze. This overwhelming message of sexism is being broadcasted around the nation to impressionable young students. However, it’s not just the sexist dress codes that are the problem. It’s also the way these sexist dress codes are enforced.

Just a year ago, a teenager in Canada was given detention for wearing a full length dress because her school deemed it inappropriate. The school claims that it went against their dress code because she was showing her shoulders and back.

” If you are truly so concerned that a boy in this school will get distracted by my upper back and shoulders, then he needs to be sent home and practice self-control.” – Lauren Higgins

When the teen in question tried to speak out against the school for the over sexualization of her shoulders and back, she was sentenced to a one-day suspension.

However, this was not the only time a young woman was personally attacked by a sexist dress code. In the UK, Bridlington School announced a plan to ban skirts all together just over a year ago. The school claimed that female students wearing skirts made the male teachers feel “uncomfortable”.

The sad fact is, these are just two of the many cases on an ever-growing list regarding sexist dress codes in schools. The showing of un-sexualized body parts, such as shoulders and knees, have become the epitome of a war zone within schools world wide. Clothing deemed as appropriate by the fashion world, such as leggings and yoga pants, have been banned by many schools. Girls attire is constantly being inspected by school staff, while boys walk by without receiving a second glance.

Schools are quick to respond to criticism, claiming that they are only trying to maintain a ‘distraction free’ learning environment. However, it seems to me that the only learning environment they’re trying to protect is that of the male student body.

However, there are two groups that are trying to fight against this subtle injustice towards women: the Everyday Sexism Project and the Amber Rose SlutWalk.

The Everyday Sexism Project is a website where people from around the world can post about their experiences with gender inequality. The website has gained hundreds of testimonies from young women from around the world who are directly effected by sexist dress codes. Many young women who post on the site claim that they personally feel a strong sense of injustice due to their gender.

” I got dress coded at my school for wearing shorts. After I left the principal’s office with a detention, I walked past another student wearing a shirt depicting two stick figures: the male holding down the females head in his crotch and saying ‘good girls swallow’. Teachers walked right past him and didn’t say a thing.” – Anonymous, Everyday Sexism Project

One student on the site claims that she was given three reasons why there was a dress code at her school:

“1) There are male teachers and male sixth formers (high school seniors)

2) Teachers feel uncomfortable around bras, etc. 

3) Don’t want the boys to target or intimidate you”

This powerful and sexist message in schools and society is one of the many reasons why Amber Rose created the SlutWalk. SlutWalk is a city wide event where people gather and march in the streets to fight against “all forms of sexism and bigotry”. Similarly to the Everyday Sexism Project website, SlutWalk allows its users to post about their own battles with sexism. Just like the Everyday Sexism Project, hundreds of posts directly refer to sexist and unfair school dress codes.

These sexist dress codes teach children that the female body is meant to be sexualized and that boys are biologically programmed to objectify said body.

This message prepares our children for college, where one in five women is sexually assaulted. However, rather than fighting this, society will instead blame the victim and let the real criminal get away with little to no disciplinary action being taken. This problem is only furthered by the fact that most of the time, there is little to no disciplinary action when boys are showing harassing behavior. This simply maintains the idea that it’s the victims fault and they should be held responsible for preventing such instances. There have been thousands of cases posted to both SlutWalk and the Everyday Sexism Project where girls are sexually assaulted at school, only to be told that “boys will be boys”.

What schools fail to realize, is that the very act of teachers calling out young girls for their clothing simply perpetuates the over sexualization of said clothing item or body part.

In this case, girls are not the only victims. There have many instances where boys have also been banned from school due to their clothing choices. However, it’s probably not for the reason you’re thinking of.

Boys have been banned from school for having their hair deemed ‘too long’ or wearing fashion choices that are dictated by the school as ‘feminine’. This includes but is not limited to skinny jeans or skirts.

One instance of this injustice came from a transgender student. The student claims he was threatened to have his yearbook photo removed, simply because he wore a tuxedo to prom.

It’s beginning to look like school dress codes are less about protecting children and more about exploiting them. Schools seem to be more interested in protecting widely accepted social norms that exclude diversity.

When a girl is removed from class for showing her shoulders because she’s ‘distracting’ to her male classmates, his education is prioritized over hers. When schools chose to focus on the covering of the female body while ignoring inappropriate behavior from boys, the school is only prolonging and supporting the assumption that victims of sexual violence are responsible for their own fate.

1.  My title does a satisfactory job of drawing in the reader. Anyone that can speak has, at this point, some awareness of the racial tensions in America. I invite the reader to explore these racial tensions in the context of the student loan debt situation. It accurately displays the controversies surrounding the topic at hand, but leaves the reader wanting to explore more into the topic.
2. The article starts with a statement everyone can agree on. This is done so that if the reader holds different views from my own, they aren’t immediately scared off. This also serves as an introductory statement, providing the reader with context of the topic at hand. Then, a couple of sentences in, I come at the reader with the faults in the student loan process. This differs greatly from the neutral tone at the start of the article, accentuating the controversies and exigency of the topic.
3. For the responses I have received from the TED Talk, and student feedback, many people are not aware of the severity of the student loan debt situation, especially for minority students. Therefore, I am lead to believe that my claim and topic are significant and not obvious to most people. I do not feel as though my topic is common knowledge or a cliché.
4. I could have developed my clearness more, as my topic has many different socio-economic implications. It was difficult to balance both the social and economic aspect of the topic. Student loan debt is obviously impacting the economy negatively, but is also affecting minority communities socially. Stigmas attached to minorities can be dissolved if minority and non-minority students had same graduation rates and income levels.
5. The organization of the piece could have been more apparent. Transitions between small paragraphs is a technique that could have greatly benefitted my piece. For the scrambling exercise I learned that my transition between sections was not immediately apparent. However, I do not feel as though my topic was a cliché, or vague. I specifically address the concerns with student loan debt, and tried to avoid general common knowledge.
6. I used some of the many sources I had researched from my Unit II assignment in the article. I attempted to use these articles to either support an argument I made, or to illustrate statistics on my topic that illustrate the dire student loan debt situation in this country. As for a persuasive stance, I first made sure all my data and sources were accurate, which would establish credibility. This would lead to a more persuasive argument.
7. I used a total of 7 sources and 1 visual source in my piece, which were fairly easy to incorporate. One thing I noticed about my topic early on is that many people have written about it, and it is an issue of high importance in society. Therefore, finding supporting data and sources was not very difficult.
8. I enjoy the use of hyperlink, and find incorporating the hyperlink into a sentence to be an interesting challenge. I contextualize the sources by introducing them, with a sentence or two. Then I hyperlink the source in a sentence such as “A Demos analysis on the Federal Reserve’s 2013 Survey of Consumer Finances shows that, on average White high school dropouts have around the same wealth as a Black college graduate.”
9. I attempted to use statistics to appeal logically to the reader, which was simple because this is an economical topic. The use of several reputable sources and the attempt at a sophisticated tone helped build credibility. The most difficult rhetorical appeal to implement was ethos. This topic is very serious and emotionally taxing for students. Every time I think about my student loans, I get anxious and somewhat depressed. To display those feelings of dread to an audience was no small task.
10. I enjoyed the visual I incorporated into my piece very much, as it displays the massive debt these students are graduating with. I did not provide commentary on the image, as I felt that it spoke for itself. Explaining the image would only take away from the effectiveness of it, in my opinion.
11. The development from the earlier drafts was quite a process, as I had not started with many hyperlinks in the article. The remaining drafts were spent properly incorporating these sources into my piece, while making the transitions as smooth as possible.
12. Again, I found that my use of hyperlinks was executed well enough. I did not simply plop down a link for the reader to browse. With every link, there was some context preceding them that established what the link would be discussing. I tried my best to make the links appropriate and as relevant as possible.
13. I read my piece aloud a couple of times to make sure that grammatically the article is correct. Incorrect grammar and spelling is a surefire way to remove credibility, and a piece with grammar mistakes should never be printed in a prestigious webpage such as the New York Times.

I enjoyed writing about the food industry. I feel like I gained a lot of knowledge from researching. This first assignment forced me to reflect on all facets of an argument. It also helped me realize that when writing about a controversy there is not always one simple solution. What is key in the way to for your argument is to take a stance on an issue and offer a different way of thinking or a start to a solution. I struggled with synthesizing my resources in my first paper. It was difficult for me to relate the arguments in these specific sources to the argument that I was trying to convey. Overall I feel that I have become a stronger writer because of this struggle. Now I know that it is important to weave together sources and not simply state facts.

Some other challenges I encountered was sifting through research on a complicated topic. When I chose the Syrian Refugee Crisis as my final research topic I did not realize how many arguments and sides there are to the issue. Not only did I have to decipher what my sources were arguing but along the way I had to form my own opinion. The exercise of finding different types of sources helped me see that news articles, journals, and even late night news have vastly different views on certain topics. This experience has helped me as a research writer because I feel that I am now able to interoperate the voice and meaning of multiple articles and form my own views on them as a whole.

The Ted Talk exercise helped me to communicate with my audience. Not only did I have to be knowledgeable on my subject, but I had to synthesize my information in a way that would make sense to someone who is not versed on the issues of the Syrian Civil war and Syrian Refugee Crisis. This ultimately helped me format the structure of my research paper in a way that made the most sense for the reader. This exercise helped me incorporate visuals and facts into my presentation and strengthened my knowledge of ethos and pathos.

All of these experiences have helped me become more aware of the language and content of my resources. They have helped me put these ideas together and relate them in a way that strengthens my argument, while commenting on different sides of an issue. By having this skill I am able to better strengthen my writing and I am more effective at conveying my ideas to an audience.

The most recent way that my practices of research and rsearch writing in WRT 205 have helped me are in some of my other classes this semester. In my art history class we are required to analyze different sources and develop an argument for a final paper. WRT 205 has helped me to be able to synthesize sources and my argument in a way that creates a coherent paper. When I have to write this paper of my art history class I will have a better skillset. Many of the assignment that we have done are research based but the articles themselves are less scholarly because of the context and the audience. The field of museum studies and art history is very scholarly and the audience is mostly educated people who are familiar with the arts. This contrasts with the style of writing in this class because the majority of time I will be writing in my field will be for a more scholarly audience. In contrast if I ever want to write for a broader audience, I feel that I have more skills because of WRT 205.

 

As I began to read more and learn more from documentaries, I was more engaged in the topic. I found that the more I learned the more disgusted I was with our food industry in America. I had a similar response to the Political Controversies. Once I began researching and learning more about Syrian Refugees and the injustices they face, I began to have more of a concern for the issue and felt that there is a real injustice that many people are not aware of.

In the beginning of researching both of these topics I did not have a lot of background information. Since I did not know much on the topics I had not formed my onion yet. I learned that it is important to think of both sides of an article and issue and that in fact there are many facets to an issue. Once I realized this I found that is was very important to analyze my texts and find the core of what they were trying to say. By doing this I was able to form my own views on the topics that were informed and considered all sides of the issues. This processed helped my argument and helped me become better informed on each topic.

Once I finished the documentary Food Inc., I was more invested in the topic. This helped me realize that there are different forms of communication outside of articles and newspapers that are reliable. The story that Food Inc. told was interesting and had the most impact on my opinions of the topic. Another example of my interest in the topics we studied was the late night shows and how they covered serious topics in an interesting and informative way. Some of the best information I got was from Ted Talks and Late Night shows because of how they synthesized numerous sources in a way that made sense. Although the journal articles were informative, I found that the news paper articles like form the New York Times were the most up to date on international issues and controversies. These were the most helpful in sparking my interest as well as informing me on these issues.

 

I would continue working on my Syrian Refugee piece because I feel like there are so many different factors that I did not get a chance to cover. There are so many issue concerning the refugees and I feel like I only covered the basics of what is happening. I would like to follow up with what the United States is doing and how they are choosing to deal with the crisis, how the UN is dealing with the lack of resources, how Syrians are living in these refugee camps and how that is affecting the children, and I would like to go further unto how we might start to educate these people. There are so many facets of this issue that it was impossible to cover all of them. I felt that in my article I needed to start at a level of informing the audience and to try and break that cycle of fear. There is so much happening with this topic that was a difficult issue to tackle.

 

 

5.

I would share the Ted Talk with people outside this class because I feel like the majority of Americans are not aware of what is really happening with the refugees. I think I would like to share this information first with the Syracuse campus but then also reach out to other parts of the community. I think it is important for people to know the facts, especially before they vote. I think it is difficult to change someone’s opinion on an issue like this, but I would hope that I would get people thinking about how we are treating these refugees. Hopefully people would react positively and would want to help educate Syrian Refugees and their children.

John Carino

WRT 205 Reflection

[1]  How well does the title provocatively focus the reader’s attention, as well as the lede? Is it thoughtful, creative, clever? Does it lead the reader into the text and provide some insight into the issue?

The title of an article or piece of writing is a very powerful tool. A writer has essentially one line to draw the attention and interest of a reader. A catchy title has to be provocative, or maybe raise a question that may intrigue a potential reader. With this article title I chose to propose a question that relates to the topic I continue to discuss. “Was Japan just in their decision to scrap Zaha Hadid’s competition winning design?” I do a few things here, I place an action that is an important part of my article, presenting that Japan had scrapped Zaha Hadid’s design. This way the reader has an idea of what the topic I may be exploring is. I continue by questioning the justness and morality of this decision, hopefully gaining the interest of the reader who may now be thinking and curious of what they could have done to raise this ambiguity of their actions.

 [2]  How well does the introductory section of the article invite the reader into the paper, as well as offer up exigency?  How does it locate a problem or controversy within a context that provides background and rationale?

I began my article with a lede that presents statement about money in reference to architecture, then lead that into how that relates to Japan’s actions. I share a broad statement about Japan’s overall reasoning for scrapping her design, but then hint that that may not be the real and only reason. This gives the reader some context to the situation, but intrigues them to continue reading. The problem that it locates within the controversy is that Japan is making a claim for their reasoning, I begin to hint that this claim may not be as accurate and true as the say it is.

[3] How well does the writer offer up a strong ‘idea’ that requires analysis to support and evolve it, as well as offers some point about the significance of evidence that would not have been immediately obvious to readers.?

               I am making a bold claim by saying that Japan lied to and deceived Zaha Hadid. This argument requires thorough support through analyzing all perspectives and developments of the situation. I also believe that as an architecture student there were aspects I was able to see analyzing and studying my sources that others may have not fully understood or picked up on. I attempt to relay these in my article in a clear and understandable way.

 

[4] How well does the writer show clarity of thought; uniqueness of presentation; evidence of style; and historicized topics?

               I articulate my own style when I input my opinion when appropriate. I also chose a topic that I believed not many people outside of the architecture discipline would know about. I hope that the readers would gain new insight into a field they did not know much about and how influential something like this could actually be to them.

[5]  How well does the writer recognize that a NYTs Magazine audience will challenge ideas that are overgeneralized or underdeveloped or poorly explained? (that is, did the writer avoid cliché and vagueness or address points/issues readers are likely to have?)  How well did the writer decide about how to develop, sequence, and organize material?

I attempted to avoid vagueness and general statements by integrating many quotes and first hand details from sources that are difficult to misinterpret. My piece synthesizes years of development of this case, which has been in development since 2012. I follow the progression as a narrative, analyzing and giving my opinion on each development along the way.

[6]  How well does the writer research a controversy, develop a persuasive stance, utilize research about the topic,  and join the ‘debate’ by making an argument of importance? 

               I originally came across this controversy through research when attempting to find architectural controversies at an international scale. This topic in particular interested me as I was able to form a basic opinion pretty quickly from my first few sources I read. I knew however it would require more extensive reader to be able to construct a strong supported argument that could convince an entire audience. The implications of this controversy go beyond just Japan and Zaha Hadid and her firm, as it could affect thousands including the local community and the millions of people watching the Olympics if the stadium is unfinished or has any flaws due to a rushed construction. I hope in my argument to share the controversy, and not only who is at fault but what consequences their decisions may have.

[7]  How well does the writer meet or exceed research expectations of assignment requirements (6 appropriate secondary sources, 1 visual source, (or more) and primary research? ).

               As this topic is significantly centered on a physical structure, visuals are a powerful tool that I utilize to support me argument. For example showing the similarities between Kuma’s design and Hadid’s. I also show the amount of progress Hadid had made in her design already when Japan scrapped it, presenting how she should rightly be paid for her work. I also integrate many quotes from many participants in the controversy, giving the reader personal opinions that give new perspectives to the situation.

[8]  How well does the writer integrate secondary and primary sources (that support and complicate the topic) effectively into the text, introducing and contextualizing them, and “conversing” (i.e. no drop-quoting) in ways that deepen and complicate the analysis?

               Integrating quotes is important, I give context to my quotes so that they cannot be misinterpreted. Allowing for a quote to be misinterpreted completely defeats the purpose of utilizing one. Quotes are power tools, that when integrated correctly can really help create a convincing argument. I use quotes in my article in just that way.

[9 How well does the writer persuade an audience to consider claims made from a particular position of authority on which you have built your research?  How strong and effective is the writer’s use of rhetorical tools (ethos, logos, pathos)?

               I am able to persuade the reader by sharing multiple sources that are factual and opinionated that reach similar conclusions about the morality of Japan’s actions and decision making. By being clear in my writing, my ideas can more easily be absorbed by readers.

 10] How well does the writer select appropriate, interesting, revealing visual?  Has the writer placed a visual strategically in the essay and provided relevant commentary on and/or analysis of them?  Do the visuals contribute to the essay in meaningful ways (i.e. would the essay be affected if the writer took the visual away)? 

               I utilize multiple visuals, including a video to help the reader understand a visual context to the argument I am making. Visuals are particularly important in my article because architecture is a profession that manifests itself through buildings and images. Without giving a visual context to the reader, I cannot possible fully relay to them all the information they need to make their own decision or opinion of what to believe.

[11] How well does the writer show development of final article using various drafts, in-class peer editing and workshops, and/or teacher comments?

               Various drafts are import to narrow down and figure out exactly what claim you want to make. They are also important to figure out the best way to organize the order of paragraphs and how to frame your argument, as well as integrate your own opinion in supported ways.

[12]  How well does the writer use hyperlinks—are they effective/appropriate?

               I utilize hyperlinks by embedding a video that is very revealing to a point I make. In particular that Zaha Hadid and her firm had put a significant amount of work and progress into their design. What better way to describe that then share a video showcasing the work?

[13]  How well did the writer edit for grammar, style, and usage effectively? Does the writer’s attention to sentence level issues help him/her establish authority or credibility on the issue? 

               Having good grammar is always good because it shows you are well educated and have reviewed your work multiple times. Style is important because it gives your work personality, and when you are making a claim and trying to convince a reader of something, some of “you” has to come through your writing so it is not bland, and your reader can relate more. Using the style of a New York Times article with short paragraphs helps the reader grasp each argument, piece of information, and claim one piece at a time. It also requires the writer to place more precision on each of these paragraph, making sure each is clear and articulate.

This topic came of great interest to me being a civil engineering student who’s currently taking a class in water resource engineering.  First of all, the research I had to do informed me of the problem they had in Flint, and also caused me to realize the importance that sound infrastructure engineering has to the citizens it will effect.  Policy plays an important factor in the decisions made which will ultimately result in the final decisions.  I became empathetic to the citizens of Flint, and grew contemptuous for the powers that made these disastrous decisions.  I did appreciate the other side however.  It is a tough task to balance a budget with minimal dollars in a failing economy.  But the more I see about the topic, the more it looks like the emergency manager was just trying to be a hero, rather than suck it up and declare bankruptcy (like so many other cities in their position have done).  As far as the actual talk; I felt great.  I was comfortable in front of my classmates.  I felt that they were engaged.  And I tried to go up there with a lot of energy, so as to not lose their interest.  It really made me appreciate the John Stewarts andJohn Olivers of the world, and how much preparation they put in and how great their delivery is.  So far this was my favorite project of the semester.

Brandon Wright

WRT 205

Unit 3 Reflection

1. The title focuses the reader’s attention very well as it presents a big topic that is surrounded by controversy. The lede also does a good job getting the reader engaged. The lede is a basic overview of the topic by being creative and authoritative. It also provides the reader insight into the issue at hand. However, the lede does not give away too much information, but just enough to get the reader hooked into the article.

2. The introductory section of the article does a good job inviting the reader into the paper. The intro is very straightforward and has an urgent tone to it, which helps the reader understand the importance of the issue in today’s world, not in the future or in the past. It locates the problem by providing background information and statistics within he first paragraph to show the reader how big an issue this is, while also explaining to them what should be done to fix the issue.

3. The writer does a good job offering up strong ideas. For example, in the article, one of the main arguments is where the World Cup profits go and how that is affecting FIFA. I stated that argument then supported it by showing stats of where the money went and how much of it went to each nation. The reader would have no idea that a British territory the size of Houston are receiving the same amounts of money as the United States, and if that does not upset the reader, then what will?

4.I think I did a good job in the way I presented the topic and all the facts relating to it. FIFA and corruption was a very broad subject, so I had to narrow it down to specific issues within the organization, and I felt I did a good job with that. Also, the way I presented the evidence to back up my arguments was done well. I provided stats, quotes, and pictures/graphs in order to get my points across to the reader. Having all three of those is a great way to keep the reader engaged.

5. The writer did a good job recognizing what a New York Times Magazine audience entails and how it challenges the ideas that are overgeneralized. FIFA is a massive organization and not many people know the details about its corruption scandal and investigation. Many people know that FIFA is a corrupt organization, but that’s about it. The writer does a good job going into more detail while also developing strong points and sequences that keeps the reader focused and interested.

6. I feel that I did a tremendous job researching the controversy that is FIFA and its corruption scandal. I also did a good job persuading the audience about how urgent and badly an issue this is. I felt that the audience got a good understanding of this topic based on my article and an understanding of its importance.

7. The writer met research expectations of this assignment. I had six secondary resources that included newspaper articles and websites. I also included five pictures/graphs in order to help illustrate my points. Plus, I used one academic journal as well, therefore meeting the research expectations.

8. I did a good job integrating the secondary and primary sources to my text. By adding information and hyperlinks throughout my article, it gives the reader important information throughout the entire article, not just in the beginning or end. The way I spaced out the article is also a good reason how well I integrated my sources.

9. I think I did a good job persuading the audience to consider my claims based on the sources and facts used to back up my argument. With the combination of scholarly sources, pictures, and newspapers articles, the reader has a wide variety of information that helps cement the argument. I was also very effective in my use of the rhetorical tools (ethos, logos, pathos).

10. In order to keep the reader engaged, you have to strategically place pictures and hyperlinks throughout the article. I felt that I did a good job with this. I placed graphs and pictures at the ends of paragraphs to help back up what I wrote in said paragraph. The visuals are very helpful because it gives the readers a quick break while still learning more about the topic at hand.

 

11. I think I did a good job expanding from my original draft to the final product. The biggest thing my peers told me was to have a much more powerful conclusion, and I thought I did that well. Another thing was my subtopics were too condensed together and I needed to separate them better while being able to relate them all to my main argument, which I thought I was able to do better from my first draft to my final article.

 

12. The use of hyperlinks in the article is very effective based on what they are. Many of the hyperlinks are used from quotes said by people and used on subjects that the reader may not know much about. For example, Sepp Blatter, former FIFA President, has made numerous inappropriate statements during his tenure regarding female soccer and females in general. I touched on just a few of those statements, but the hyperlink attached to it goes to a website where you can see every inappropriate quote from Blatters time as President

 

13. The writer did a very nice job editing for grammar, style, and usage. The article is written very urgently because the issue needs to be fixed ASAP, and the reader needs to understand that. The writer’s attention to sentence level issues helps him establish much credibility on the issue at hand. He has a lot of facts to back up his claims, and knows the topic very well.

UNIT 3 REFLECTION

1. I attempted to create a very interesting and creative title by including sports, racism, and superman. As funny as that sounds, Superman is a nickname that Cam Newton (one of the subjects of my article) has been given due to a celebration that he does when he impersonates Superman. I thought that this little detail would be an eye catcher and that the reader would feel inclined to check it out.
2. I started the article with a very intriguing quote from NPR which pretty much sums up the basis of my article and gives a little context. I included historical context, a dictionary definition, and a controversial opinion to draw in the reader.
3. I gave my strong opinion. I used a variety of different topics to back up what I said as well as one that goes against my personal belief. I also tried to raise questions and point out that we need change. Finally I thought back on everything and summed up my final thoughts.
4. I used historical information as well as a scientific research project from Smith College to give some context as clearly as I could. I tried to be as unique as possible by opening my article with a quote, by using an unordinary title and by using pictures too.
5. I was fully aware that my idea is very controversial and that not everyone would agree with it so i made sure to stay true to my opinion no matter what. I tried to organize and develop my ideas as well as possible so that everyone gets the same reading experience no matter what side you’re on.
6. I did a lot of research on all aspects of the topic to generate an opinion as well as use my morals and beliefs in life to build a firm stance. I utilized my research to get a better understanding to see all aspects of the controversy, negative and positive. I joined the debate by clearly stating my opinion and by sticking to it.
7. I had all of the required sources, however some were used in the article and others helped myself get a more detailed historical context to insure that I really knew what I was writing about. Some of the sources excluded didn’t exactly fit the flow and structure of my article and I didn’t want some of them to take away from the article’s train of thought, therefore, confusing the reader.
8. My primary source of Smith College was very instrumental in setting down scientific information on the topic of race and sports. My secondary information basically highlighted those theories by giving examples of the research findings  that relate and happen in the current year of 2016. For example, the study explained how white players feel as if their spots are being taken. I used secondary source articles to show how players still feel that way (used quote from Charles K. Ross about white players being the franchise players and when a player of color comes along to take that traditionally white spot, controversy sparks).  I also tried to include a devils advocate source because it’s important to show both sides of the argument.
9. I used Logos to show that this problem is logical and that many people aren’t thinking logically, kinda like a wake up call to the reader. I think Ethos is pretty relevant because the sources that I used are respected and trustworthy plus they are accurate. For the Pathos aspect I tried to get my emotions out of the way but towards the end I kinda let myself go and used words like idiocy and used the sentence : “Stop worrying about whose playing in the games and start worrying about whether your team will have a good season or not “ as a backhanded ending. I think I was able to keep my opinion strong without really letting my emotions get the best of me.
10. I gave a number of visuals. The first was Cam Newton looking sad( kinda speaks for itself because he’s the topic and its about racism in sports that is targeted towards him). The second was Newton hitting the dab, because the paragraph next to it was about his dancing. The next was Warren Moon talking with Newton because Moon mentored him and it was mentioned in the paragraph next to it. The trend is kind of a formula, I tried to use pictures to visualize the emotion of what I was talking about along with what I was literally talking about ( dancing,mentoring). I don’t think relying on the visuals alone could portray my article’s message correctly. They are used more as aids or support beams to visualize and give examples of that I’m talking about as i go.
11. I wrote two drafts. I grew a lot from my first draft in a sense of more content but as well as a better structure. During peer-review and editing my first draft I noticed that I was writing in a very essay like formula so I tried to change that in my second and final drafts. I broke up paragraphs and tried to seem more casual while remaining engaging. 
12. I didn’t use any hyperlinks. I didn’t find that they were completely necessary but I could have included them.
13. I tried to pay close attention to language and grammar. I attempted to not repeat words but instead use variations or synonyms of the previous similar word that I was trying to use again. I also tried to utilize grammar so that I wasn’t left with huge run-on sentences.

Was Japan just in their decision to scrap Zaha Hadid’s competition winning design?

John Carino

In the world of architecture, sometimes the decision to build comes down to money. Money drives everything, and often it unnecessarily complicates situations. In the case of Japan’s scrapping of Zaha Hadid’s 2020 Olympic Stadium design it seems money have not been the main reason despite their claim.

When Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe scrapped British-Iraqi architect Zaha Hadid’s design for the 2020 Tokyo Olympic stadium, it was due to claims of spiraling material costs. While rising construction costs is an existing problem, Zaha Hadid and her architects argue the reasons behind the Tokyo government dropping her design were illegitimate and go beyond just the rise of financial issues.

In 2012 Zaha Hadid Architects won an international competition with their design for an 80,000 seat stadium that would be used for the 2019 Rugby World Cup, the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games, and would exist as the home for Japanese sports for the next century.

Zaha Hadid’s world famous works include the 2012 Aquatics Centre for London’s Olympic Games as well as the in-progress production of the 2022 stadium for the football World Cup in Qatar.

For the 2020 Olympic Stadium project, Hadid produced a “streamlined design with two gigantic arches, resembling a cyclist’s helmet” (Kyodo). Hadid is known for her futuristic and progressive designs, and, this design in particular started to turn heads, but not necessarily for the right reasons.

Zaha Hadid’s design for the stadium began receiving heavy criticism from famous Japanese architects as soon as it won the international competition. These high profile Japanese architects include Toyo Ito, Sou Fujimoto, Kengo Kuma, as well as Fumihiko Maki. Between these architects there was mutual agreement that her structure was too large and expensive, they also stated that Hadid did not understand the building site’s context, which also upset the site’s community.

The local community of the stadium site held a 500-person protest in outrage against the design. Along with believing the costs were too high, these architects and community members believed her hyper-modern futuristic design did not integrate well into its surroundings. While a hyper-modern design may seem appropriate to send a message to the world about Japans forward-thinking and technological advances, they felt it did not appropriately reflect cultural Japanese values and would inappropriately stand out in their community.

Her design disappointed more than just Japanese architects. Barcelona’s Olympic Stadium architect Arata Isozki called her project “a monumental mistake” (Japan). He claimed it left him “in despair”(Japan) and saw it as a “disgrace to future generations” (Japan). Zaha Hadid was shocked and disappointed in her treatment surrounding the project, especially when they dropped her design to host a new design competition so late into the design process.

Zaha Hadid had a different perspective of why her design was scrapped. She claimed, “This shocking treatment of an international design and engineering team, as well as the respected Japanese design companies with whom we worked, was not about design or budget” (Press).       

Hadid stated they just did not want a foreigner designing their national stadium. She called the Japanese architects who criticized her hypocrites, because they had all worked abroad themselves. She even stated “The fact that they lost is their problem, they lost the competition. If they are against the idea of doing a stadium on that site, I don’t think they should have entered the competition” (Japan).

“Due to 25 percent rise in costs across Tokyo’s construction market, the authorities used costs as an excuse to swap for a Japanese architect”(Press)

In response to the claims of a steep annual increase in construction costs Hadid responded “It is not the case that the recently reported cost increases are due to the design, which uses standard materials and techniques well within the capability of Japanese contractors and meets the budget set by the Japan Sports Council” (Japan). She claimed the increased cost of her project was a result of rising construction costs, not due to her design. Hadid argued by scrapping her design, they were setting them up for an entirely new set of problems and costs.

“It is disappointing that the government did not even consider working with the existing design team to build on the two years of design work they and the Japanese people had invested”(Wainwright). – Spokesperson for Zaha Hadid architects

This video rendering that expresses the extensive work Zaha Hadid and her team had already placed into the project.

Hadid argued that the Japanese government did not even attempt to work with her to revise her design. She claims they could have made it work, arguing that all of these delays that the government caused may make the stadium not ready for the Rugby World Cup and possibly even the Olympics, including an extended construction deadline which increases costs significantly after such a long construction delay. Hadid claimed her project construction would have already been in progress.

“Work would already be underway building the stadium if the original design team had simply been able to develop this original design, avoiding costs of an 18-month delay and risk that it may not be ready in time for the 2020 Games” (Press).

In July of 2015 Japan hosted a new design competition to pick a project to replace Hadid’s. Hadid’s argument seems to gain validity as the winner of the new design competition was Japanese architect Kengo Kuma, one of the architects that had previously criticized Hadid. Outrage continues to be drawn as his design had striking resemblance to Hadid’s design in plan and circulatory design aspects.

Zaha Hadid began to suspect collusion by the Japanese government as it seems their reasons for scrapping her design continue to become more illegitimate with its new developments, claiming: “sadly the Japanese authorities, with the support of some of our own profession in Japan, have colluded to close the doors on the project to the world” (Zaha Hadid accuses).

Hadid claimed Kengo Kuma’s replacement design has “remarkable similarities to her own” (Zaha Hadid accuses). She argued that they are very similar in shape and layout. She even asserted, “in fact much of our two years of detailed design work and the cost savings we recommended have been validated by the remarkable similarities of our original detailed stadium layout and our seating bowl configuration with those of the design announced today”(Press). Kuma responded to these accusations claiming, “In the design, I would like to say there are no similarities at all” (McCurry)

While Kuma’s design had a cost estimate of $1.4 billion and Hadid’s came in around $2.3 billion the multitude of factors and controversies surrounding Japan’s decision-making and treatment of Hadid seem unjust. They did not even attempt to work with her, and the tension grew between Japan and Hadid as legal issues arose surrounding Hadid’s payment for her work.

Organizers of the Olympics were refusing to pay Hadid for her scrapped design until she gave them all of the copyrights on her designs and signed a gag order. They also demanded that she and anyone at her firm not discuss or comment on the project. When giving over the copyrights the agreement that the Japanese government is demanding she signs “specifies that the stadium’s new design team is “allowed to use any product of work… regardless of its copyright”” (Zaha Hadid refuses).

Hadid brought forth her issues with the similarities of Kuma’s new design to the Japanese Sports Council. She hoped discussions could be held for her and her firm to be rightly treated and paid for the thorough design work created by her and her firm. If the issues cannot be resolved, Hadid claimed they would “take legal actions if our concerns are not promptly addressed to our satisfaction” (McCurry).

Is it not hypocritical for the JSC to claim they are not copying Hadid’s design, then forcing her to give up all her design copyrights so they can legally do just that? While the Japanese government may have had some justification in their decision to drop her design and while their reasoning was not always necessarily wrong, they took an inappropriate and deceptive approach by scrapping her design and trying to legally pressure her out of her copyrights and hard work.

While this situation may seem to only effect the Japanese Sports council and Zaha Hadid and her architects, it actually has massive implications that could affect thousands or millions of people. This stadium will affect the lives of everyone in its local community for generations. The construction of this structure is also important, consider if the project is now rushed because of these issues, could there be safety problems for its users if it is not built to the highest standard?

Perhaps by not going with Hadid’s design Japan may influence millions of people by the consequences of their actions. Consider if the stadium is not finished in time for the 2020 Olympics? This then becomes an international issue that will place Japan in a difficult situation.

Despite the many ways this situation could have developed, tragically on the night of March 31, 2016, Zaha Hadid passed away. The Japanese Olympic Prime Minister Toshiaki Endo respectably responded “although (the design) was scrapped, I would like to thank her for the contribution she made, the innovative design contributed greatly to Tokyo’s bid to host the Olympics”(Kyodo).

While Hadid’s firm may continue to communicate with Japan to resolve these issues, it is more important to reflect on the influence Zaha Hadid had on the architectural profession in her lifetime. She was the first woman ever to receive the Prizker Architecture prize, an award equivalent to the Nobel Prize in its prestige. Her futuristic and organic flowing designs have been recognized and praised by the world and the architectural profession. Japanese architect and critic of her 2020 stadium design praised Hadid whom he claims “had an amazing sense of designing architecture filled with aerodynamics all through her career”(Kyodo). She pushed boundaries, and her work will continue to influence and inspire architects for generations to come.

 

Works cited:

“Japan Scraps Hadid’s Tokyo 2020 Olympic Stadium.” Dezeen. 17 July 2015. Web.

Kyodo. “Tributes Follow Death of Architect Zaha Hadid.” Japan Times. 1 Apr. 2016. Web.

McCurry, Justin. “Tokyo Olympic Stadium Architect Denies Copying Zaha Hadid Design.” The Guardian. 15 Jan. 2016. Web.

Press, Associated. “Japan Picks Olympic Stadium Design to Replace Zaha Hadid Plan.” The Guardian. 22 Dec. 2015. Web.

Wainwright, Oliver. “Bye Bye Zaha, Hello Fried Egg! New Designs Unveiled for Tokyo Olympic Stadium.” The Guardian. 16 Dec. 2015. Web.

“Zaha Hadid Accuses Japanese Government and Architects of Collusion over Tokyo Stadium.” Dezeen. 22 Dec. 2015. Web.

“Zaha Hadid Forced to Throw in the Towel over Tokyo Olympic Stadium.” Dezeen. 18 Sept. 2015. Web.

“Zaha Hadid Refuses to Hand over Copyright for Unpaid Japan Stadium Designs.” Dezeen. 14 Jan. 2016. Web.

 Images:

Image 1: http://www.designboom.com/architecture/kengo-kuma-tokyo-national-stadium-japan-sport-council-12-22-2015/

Image 2: http://archinect.com/news/article/145735758/tokyo-olympics-refusing-to-pay-zaha-hadid-for-work-on-the-national-stadium

Image 3: http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/31/architecture/zaha-hadid-appreciation/