Pierce Noonan
4/18/16
Unit III Final Draft
WRT 205, Amy Barone
PTSD: The One Thing Veterans Don’t Deserve
While many veterans get the medical treatment they deserve, too many are not obtaining the same help they need to ease their transition back into the world they once knew. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, known as PTSD, is keeping these soldiers from returning not only physically but mentally as well, and we need to do more about that. Veterans who go through hell for our country and serve to protect us need assurance to come home to a safe and normal lifestyle. Yeah of course many veterans are being helped with the use of service dogs, medical marijuana and even medically induced therapies with the help of professionals and other organizations but not enough are being saved.
11-20 out of every 100 American soldiers are experiencing PTSD from Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF). From the Gulf War (Desert Storm), about 12 out of every 100 veterans have PTSD in a given year. These American’s whom risked their lives for us to protect us from the people who took down our towers in New York City deserve more. They protect us from the bombers and shooters in San Bernardino, California and they deserve more. These soldiers deserve everything they don’t receive, and that is the removal of PTSD after returning home.
Most people know others who have either went to war and returned or are currently mid-tour. Don’t you want them to get the help they need when the time comes? I don’t want my loved ones feeling fear, anger, or depression every day of their lives and neither do any of you. There can’t be people in this country who lose limbs and get shot at for our country with these feelings because of PTSD. No veteran should feel guilty, shameful or confused because of the trauma they have witnessed.
PTSD not only disturbs the veteran who experienced amounts of trauma overseas, but it effects the family of the returned soldier. From a military article, “One Person’s PTSD Can Affect a Whole Family,” writer and spouse of a twelve year military veteran, Andrea Carlile, says “Family members of people with PTSD can suffer from secondary stress and experience some of the same debilitating effects of PTSD.” From the depression and anxiety along with the substance abuse and violence; this is not something you want to experience after missing your loved one for such a long time while he/she was away.
Think about it.
A New York Times article written by former soldier Christopher Drew, “Reporter’s Notebook: Navy SEAL Commander’s Suicide,” says Commander Job W. Price had committed suicide during a deployment in late 2012. Times reporters had “learned more about the stresses on elite Special Operations troops, the stigma that many have felt about seeking help for mental health issues.” In this situation, the military is currently trying to change ways they can help other soldiers. However the Commander did not get the help he needed and the result was fatal. Veterans make up 7 percent of the American population. These veterans account for 20 percent of our populations suicides.
What can we do to help that isn’t already being done? Clearly a lot.
Former Marine Infantry Officer David J. Morris and writer of New York Times article, “After PTSD, More Trauma,” experienced PTSD. He also experienced trying to get help from the Veterans Affairs. Explaining in his article he admits that, “going in for therapy at a Veterans Affairs hospital is a lot like arriving at a large airport in a foreign country.” He then went on to say his first session started with a graduate student therapist finishing up his doctorate in clinical psychology offering him in some way, an apology. The apology was to make David J. Morris informed about the fact that he will probably make mistakes and say stupid things… After reading that my jaw dropped, honestly!
Now why is it alright for our veterans looking for help to be helped by someone who admits he will in fact make mistakes during the therapy sessions? Sounds extreme to me. Why not a professional doctor that knows exactly how to help these ‘patients?’ Especially from the Veterans Affairs who are supposed to be one of, if not the best and largest organization trying to help these PTSD acquired veterans.
Back to Mr. Morris’ article, he writes, “but after a month of therapy, I began to have problems.” Therapy is supposed to help these veterans not make them have problems; Nausea, sleepless nights, losing focus. David Morris acquired all of these symptoms and he even stabbed his cellphone with a stainless steel knife until the blade was at 90 degrees after it failed to dial a simple phone call.
From the research I’ve been doing, I found on a ProQuest Central database that Apollo Applied Research is launching the largest medical cannabis study on how medical marijuana impacts the reduction of PTSD effects on veterans and first responders. Based on the article found on this database, Apollo Applied Research “currently prescribes medical cannabis for patients diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and has seen its benefits as a viable treatment option.” For this medical research operation, in Canada, this is a big success. How come not in America?
Okay now picture this fight: The State of Colorado vs. US Veterans.
We might get to witness that as Veterans are launching a lawsuit against Colorado to access medical marijuana to treat PTSD. Greg White who is a former U.S Marine Corps Sergeant, who has yet to heal from the trauma of having to wear green on a daily basis, writes on this topic. In his article, “Veterans launch lawsuit against Colorado to access medical marijuana to treat PTSD,” White goes on to write that medical marijuana, even though it is now legal in Colorado, it is illegal for the treatment of PTSD.
Absurd. Absolutely Absurd! America, the place people want to be to live the ‘American Dream’, refusing to help out the people who make our country great.
Looks like America is the loser in that fight.
US Army scout and sniper, Curt Bean, told sources that talking about taking lives is never easy. Bean spent times in Iraq but after he came home, he found himself fighting depression and anxiety. So this man who drank a lot, stayed in bed a lot, and avoided the company of other people, was diagnosed with PTSD by the Department of Veterans Affairs who prescribed him with a potent antidepressant. As I spoke about earlier, Veterans Affairs did not help much for David J. Morris. Likewise, the prescription of antidepressants just made Curt Bean’s condition much worse.
People tend to say when you are down all the time, try something to get up. People turn to their own ways of fun and happiness for a little relief.
So, Bean decided to smoke a little pot, recreationally of course, and he felt instant satisfaction, according to Greg White’s article. Mr. Bean added, “Cannabis helped reduce his anxiety, move past the Iraq War and get on with his life.” So why it is not allowed to be used as a medical treatment belittles and confuses me.
What is it that all of these soldiers had in common? PTSD and a hand that was not there to help.
If a professional athlete were to have PTSD, people from all around the world would want to see them get better. Yes of course a lot of good citizens hope everyone is healthy and safe, but that is not the case in this on-going situation. Not only would these athletes have the support from all of the people they perform for, they have millions of dollars to get them the treatments needed. A professional basketball player’s average salary is 5.15 million dollars. A professional baseball player’s salary is 3.2 million dollars. Comparing those millions to an average annual income of a veteran making around 43 thousand dollars. I am a HUGE sports fan and absolutely love the entertainment these players give the crowd. Yet numbers this distant are hard for me to understand.
Having organizations like the Veterans Affairs is a great thing to have that indeed has an impact on so many lives. This impact can be so much more enhanced with more organizations like this and that needs to be understood. Not only do we need more major organizations focusing on helping veterans who suffer with PTSD, but we need better ones. We need to make sure our veterans are taken care of. We need to make sure PTSD is limited to the minimal. No matter what it takes? Absolutely.
Reflection Unit 3
WRT205/Spring 2016
1.) For the title, I used a two-part title, “PTSD: The One Thing Veterans Don’t Deserve.” This title to me gets the reader thinking PTSD is something that a lot of veterans have and they deserve to get the help they need to get better. For my lede, I thought this was one of the tougher parts of writing this article. I could not really get the lede I was looking for. However, my lede does lead the reader into the text and provide insight on the issue I wanted to inform the reader about. I explain what the issue, PTSD, is and I explain that it is disturbing the lives of veterans who have it. “The One Thing Veterans Don’t Deserve” is PTSD and we need to do something about it.
2.) I thought I did a very good job in the beginning of my article. I explained exactly what the issue was while giving proof that it is an issue. I give examples of how veterans are being helped; service dogs, medical marijuana (though not to an extent) and medically induced therapies with the help of professionals and other organizations. I also end my opening paragraph with “not enough are being saved.” And that is my issue I am trying to get the reader to see. I explain, “11-20 out of every 100 American soldiers are experiencing PTSD from Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF). From the Gulf War (Desert Storm), about 12 out of every 100 veterans have PTSD in a given year.” Giving proof that it is an issue.
3.) I gave proof of research that needed to be done in order to expand on the idea of veterans and PTSD. Without researching this topic the amount that I did, I would not have any proof that not enough is being done to save these veterans. If you go on va.gov you see all the help the Veterans Affairs is trying to give. However, while continuously researching, I saw that they hurt a lot of veterans as well by making their symptoms much worse or just didn’t help at all as I explained with David J. Morris in my article. Myself, I did not know much about PTSD and the topic of what I wanted to talk about. I learned a lot about the effects of PTSD, about ways people are treated and about ways people need to be treated. For my evidence I used a lot of stories from veterans talking about the effect PTSD had on their family or on themselves and the help they tried to get and didn’t receive it.
4.) Clarity of thought: I thought I was clear in the point I wanted to get off. I spoke about veterans not getting help they needed and I showed my point of view by continuously saying we need to change that. I used pictures to support my claims and I thought the way I wrote my article was of unique presentation. I asked the reader questions and made them think about the questions by proving my information with evidence and story. For example, Commander Job W. Price committed suicide and I went on to say “what can we do to help that isn’t already being done? Clearly a lot.” I did not use large paragraphs as an article is supposed to be friendly looking via text. Hyperlinks were given throughout the article as well.
5.) I know NYT’s Magazine audiences will challenge ideas that are overgeneralized or underdeveloped. I do not think I underdeveloped my article. I believe my research and information is all credible and is proving to the topic I wanted to discuss. I have many different arguments proving this. I do think I avoided cliché and vagueness and I addressed points and issues readers would have about my topic. Organizing my article I just simply thought and wrote at first. Then, I changed a couple paragraphs to go somewhere else in the body of my article to make the article sound better. I knew I had researched enough and I knew what I wanted to write about, so I found the best sequence to write about these topics.
6.) Research wise, I have been researching since Unit 2 on this topic. I used databases like ProQuest, along with New York Times articles, and even an article on a lawsuit. I believe my stance is clear and that other readers who have read my article would start the feel the same way once they realized there is proof.
7.) The first research I did was research the effects of PTSD and exactly what it is. I then researched the effects of PTSD on veterans and how it affects themselves along with their families. Stories came to my attention like Commander Job W. Price and David J. Morris. I used a numerous amount of sources varying from Apollo Applied Research to the Veterans Affairs Website. Also from New York Times articles and Military articles from Military.com. My secondary sources back up my primary research of PTSD and the effects on veterans and the help they aren’t receiving. Picture wise, I used 3 pictures. Visually, a reader looks at pictures harder than the text in my opinion, at least I do. The first picture, the 12 steps of PTSD. It shows how someone would act while having PTSD. I also wrote about some of those feelings and actions in my text. The next picture was a statistic on veterans and suicide. I used information to back that up saying “veterans make up 7 percent of the American population. These veterans account for 20 percent of our populations suicides.”
8.) My secondary sources and my primary source integrate very well. I think I used my secondary sources to back-up my primary information. I used information like the suicide numbers that I used in number 7 to back up my argument for Commander Job W. Price. This supported and complicated the topic. I did not drop quote the statistic as I simply just wrote it.
9.) I’m not sure how I persuaded the audience because I am not sure who read it. I believe if someone were to read my article I would have persuaded them to definitely think about my position and see that I am indeed correct. The audience I am writing too is to every American. My rhetorical tools were on point during this article. Not so much ethos was used, but I used pathos and logos throughout the article. Pathos was used for example when I said, “While many veterans get the medical treatment they deserve, too many are not obtaining the same help they need to ease their transition back into the world they once knew.”
10.) My visuals were definitely appropriate. They spoke about my topic in many ways. “A picture is worth a thousand words.” My picture on the 12 steps do explain the 12 steps of PTSD, however they make you think about what a veteran or someone else with this disorder would actually be going through on an everyday basis. I wrote about the effects of PTSD in my article as well. The medical cannabis picture shows how medical marijuana could help chronic pain or sleep apnea. I wrote about how medical marijuana is not legal for the use of PTSD recovery in America which was one of my major issues. Also, the suicide picture I did not know what else to put as a picture so I simply put the statistic that says a veteran dies by suicide every 80 minutes. That is a very deep thought and comment. I wrote statistically about suicides and the relationship with veterans along with a story by former soldier Christopher Drew on the commander I have talked so much about in this reflection.
11.) My first 800 word draft was very similar to my final draft, not going to lie. I thought I really worded everything great and used good sequence and use of sources. After the 800 word draft we had to make a 1250 word draft where I tried to move stuff around and I did change little things here and there. I ended up switching back to more of a style I used in the 800 word draft. We did a scramble technique in class for peer reviewing and I liked the way my partner scrambled my text ultimately. However, I really thought I had a good article before that and stood with it. For my lead, I had a pretty bad one and I thought that was what I had the most trouble with. I tried using other people’s advice for that but in the end I don’t think it worked out I think I lacked a great opening lead.
12.) I hyperlinked where necessary. I hyperlinked PTSD so people could look up more about that if they wanted too. I hyperlinked my articles for source proof. I hyperlinked the veteran’s affairs for importance proof. I hyperlinked Apollo Applied research because I didn’t think anyone would know anything about that. They were effective and appropriate. I wasn’t sure to hyperlink the authors so I didn’t because I didn’t want to hyperlink too much.
13.) My grammar is good I believe. I am not a professional writer nor do I have the best use of vocabulary, however I don’t think I used a simple writing technique. I believe my style of a New York Times article was used effectively. I believe I wrote a good article, not perfect, but good. I constantly changed up paragraphs throughout the editing of this article. I think I argued a good argument and I believe I have a good stand for persuading the audience I am correct.