My title does a satisfactory job of drawing in the reader. Anyone that can speak has, at this point, some awareness of the racial tensions in America. I invite the reader to explore these racial tensions in the context of the student loan debt situation. It accurately displays the controversies surrounding the topic at hand, but leaves the reader wanting to explore more into the topic.
The article starts with a statement everyone can agree on. This is done so that if the reader holds different views from my own, they aren’t immediately scared off. This also serves as an introductory statement, providing the reader with context of the topic at hand. Then, a couple of sentences in, I come at the reader with the faults in the student loan process. This differs greatly from the neutral tone at the start of the article, accentuating the controversies and exigency of the topic.
For the responses I have received from the TED Talk, and student feedback, many people are not aware of the severity of the student loan debt situation, especially for minority students. Therefore, I am lead to believe that my claim and topic are significant and not obvious to most people. I do not feel as though my topic is common knowledge or a cliché.
I could have developed my clearness more, as my topic has many different socio-economic implications. It was difficult to balance both the social and economic aspect of the topic. Student loan debt is obviously impacting the economy negatively, but is also affecting minority communities socially. Stigmas attached to minorities can be dissolved if minority and non-minority students had same graduation rates and income levels.
The organization of the piece could have been more apparent. Transitions between small paragraphs is a technique that could have greatly benefitted my piece. For the scrambling exercise I learned that my transition between sections was not immediately apparent. However, I do not feel as though my topic was a cliché, or vague. I specifically address the concerns with student loan debt, and tried to avoid general common knowledge.
I used some of the many sources I had researched from my Unit II assignment in the article. I attempted to use these articles to either support an argument I made, or to illustrate statistics on my topic that illustrate the dire student loan debt situation in this country. As for a persuasive stance, I first made sure all my data and sources were accurate, which would establish credibility. This would lead to a more persuasive argument.
I used a total of 7 sources and 1 visual source in my piece, which were fairly easy to incorporate. One thing I noticed about my topic early on is that many people have written about it, and it is an issue of high importance in society. Therefore, finding supporting data and sources was not very difficult.
I enjoy the use of hyperlink, and find incorporating the hyperlink into a sentence to be an interesting challenge. I contextualize the sources by introducing them, with a sentence or two. Then I hyperlink the source in a sentence such as “A Demos analysis on the Federal Reserve’s 2013 Survey of Consumer Finances shows that, on average White high school dropouts have around the same wealth as a Black college graduate.”
I attempted to use statistics to appeal logically to the reader, which was simple because this is an economical topic. The use of several reputable sources and the attempt at a sophisticated tone helped build credibility. The most difficult rhetorical appeal to implement was ethos. This topic is very serious and emotionally taxing for students. Every time I think about my student loans, I get anxious and somewhat depressed. To display those feelings of dread to an audience was no small task.
I enjoyed the visual I incorporated into my piece very much, as it displays the massive debt these students are graduating with. I did not provide commentary on the image, as I felt that it spoke for itself. Explaining the image would only take away from the effectiveness of it, in my opinion.
The development from the earlier drafts was quite a process, as I had not started with many hyperlinks in the article. The remaining drafts were spent properly incorporating these sources into my piece, while making the transitions as smooth as possible.
Again, I found that my use of hyperlinks was executed well enough. I did not simply plop down a link for the reader to browse. With every link, there was some context preceding them that established what the link would be discussing. I tried my best to make the links appropriate and as relevant as possible.
I read my piece aloud a couple of times to make sure that grammatically the article is correct. Incorrect grammar and spelling is a surefire way to remove credibility, and a piece with grammar mistakes should never be printed in a prestigious webpage such as the New York Times.